What is the most important human need?
Some seem to think that it is health. Many people spend countless hours developing their bodies and trying to eat right to maintain good health. Others spend most of their time and energy focused on making money and accumulating material possessions in the name of security and comfort. Artists feel the need to express themselves at all costs us while thrill seekers jump out of planes to have their rush. Beyond all of the targets that we set, perhaps what we need and truly desire is much more simple. What we need to keep us going and what gives us deep satisfaction may not be as difficult to acquire as we think.
A person may have all the wealth and health in the world but without someone to share it with, is it much more than a day, a week or a months enjoyment? Beyond the thrills and pleasures that materials and sensations give us, I think what really matters is feeling loved and accepted. Only once our ideas and our abilities have been approved by our peers do we feel a sense of joy and accomplishment. I believe this is what we crave and seek beneath our more glamorous and crude desires. Success is, after all, relative and constantly changing. I know that on the days when I feel like I have so much to offer yet have no chance of sharing it with others I feel unfulfilled. The connection we feel when sharing thoughts and sharing experiences is much more valuable than a wealth of inanimate objects or a lonely idea.
If this idea is indeed relevant, the trick is finding out how to make others feel loved and accepted first and then allowing yourself to feel this way as well. If this is achieved, if we could feel appreciated and recognised simply by being who we are, perhaps we would not spend so much time and effort in a struggle to acquire things and experiences in an effort to fill ourselves up? I don’t think we should shy away from experiences or aim not to acquire things that we enioy. What I’m suggesting is that we have it backwards; we value and put most of our time and effort into activities which we hope will bring us closer to what we seek, when all we have to do is simply recognise the joy in appreciating ourselves and one another.
The need to be accepted and loved is more fundamental and therefore more important than the need to have or the need to experience physical pleasure. It should thus be the foundation for pursuing and enjoying our experiences. Take a deep breath and acknowledge yourself and how far you have come. Allow yourself to feel happy and fulfilled. It may then be easier and more enjoyable to go out and pursue our goals supported by a solid foundation of self worth and a relaxed state of mind.